All In One Peace

we go in faith, our own great weakness feeling
and needing more each day thy grace to know;
yet from our hearts a song of triumph pealing,
we rest on thee, and in thy name we go.

a verse by Edith Cherry

Laugh… tht might take a life time… but its good to be back… i feel a thome here… like good things are coming my way- i just need to pray and look for them…
the city has change- and it hasnt. there has been a lot of new growth in the last 1.5 years.. but toda again i started seeing all of the dilapidation standing out through all the new buildings… people are a lot more -western- too, take that as you may. people have more things, talk with more smiles on their faces- but it also seems that the city has a void, like the inside of a bullet casing …

ive been meeting with all the people i know here- and its been good to see what has happened to them… and meeting new people too. my roommates name is tamara. shes form serbija and shes so great!!!! we are like 2 peas in a pod…. she takes care of me so much too- shes been vrey patient and speaks slowly and corrects m bosnian… which no one else really has been patient enough…

welcome! ićm here… now what!?! heehee. im learning the language of course! todayi was so happy because i went to the post office by myself and bought not only a telephone card, but a specif card, and specifically asked for stamps for both postcards letters to america… and the lady understood me!!!! ah, the simple things, that make everthing so grand!

its been a bit hard because eveyone is so nice and is trying to translate for me- i keep telling them not to- as it will hurt me in the long run… but well see. i never thought id pick up things so fast… i am getting past tense - i never could use it before! but i have so much to learn- i just pray that im a sponge and can absorb it all…. my job this week is to visit with old friends and rest and practice speaking- i understand more than i can speak- but thats to be expected you hear it first right????

much love to you all back home…i miss you, although i have to say that my heart is so glad that i am here. if it werenćt for the language issue, id feel that i returned to a very familiar and comfortable place.

Zdravo sve- Im here in Sarajevo… got here (friday at 6 in the am) yup thats right- i left wednesday am. Ive alreadz had an adventure getting here i waited 40 minutes for samuilo and bojan at the airport- i shouldve waited longer but i was afriad of catching the bus so i took a taxi to the bus stop… but i had missed the earlier bus by 10 minutes! i tried calling bojan and samuilo (got gippped buying a few phone cards- the first one was opened- i should know better, and it didnt work).

but it was good all in all, as i am a lot more laid back than i was even the last time i was here. starting to learn the language in Seattle has proved invaluable- and i think im a lot more laid back- thanks SUIC, you must have done that to me!!!! I know that Id get here and I did… Tomo picked me up (thanks) and now ićm here. Im excited to see what happens- tonight is a youth mtg .. and i am aobut to go and eat- i havent had a good meal since tuesday night and im ready to eat or drop!
Vidimo se

…to see the wizard… No, silly Crystal… I’m off to Bosnia! I’m excited and can’t wait to get there. I’ll let you know when I arrive. (late Thursday, their time, which by the way, is 9 hours ahead of Seattle/San Fran.). That’s all- vidimo se! (See you later)
Crystal J.

My Grandma called my today to talk to me. One of the last things she told me was, “Now, don’t go find some strange man over there (in Bosnia).” Well, I don’t intend to… although I do know that people are praying for that. In fact, I have people trying to introduce me to some Bosnian, or Balkan, guys there…

I laugh. Why are people trying to be so involved with this part of my life? I’m not too worried- I know that the right person will come when the time is right… I’m still rather young… I know I haven’t dated much- but even this last few year and a half has shown me that there are great social-justice advocate, caring, men-of-faith. And knowing these guys has been a great encouragement- these guys are amazing friends and knowing that the guy meant for me is better than that- and that I get to be the one to love him- well, this is just great and I’m not worried… so neither should anyone else, right?

So don’t worry- I’m back in the USA when I’m 25. There is no deadline; It’s not a race to find someone (nor should it ever be). God has a plan for my life.

I remember that in High School I had to write a “letter to my child” chock-full of advice. I live out much of what I wrote in that letter (tooting my own horn) because I think that wisdom was beyond my years. However, I wrote that our bodies, souls, and minds are all inerconnected- and we must look after all three or we will perish.

I have not followed this advice- and it is a constant stumbling block… I have always had issues with being in a body…

I think it’s that I have found ways to deal with people brusing my mind and soul, but not the body. I mean if someone insults my intelligence, I can get over it- or know that they are off-base. I’m not Einstein, but I do work hard to use my mind in beneficial ways- and I know where I’m on the “intelligence” spectrum dosen’t matter my worth. If someone insults my soul, I know that I have passions and faith that matter- and again, that someone’s opinion does not affect my overall worth… but when it comes to my body, well I falter. I mean, I haven’t gotten to the point of finding my physical self worthy no matter what other’s do/say… God created me, you’d think that should be enough to accept myself…

I bring this up because this flaw has been keenly obvious as I have been travelling. It’s wired as I have been hit on more times in Montana and here in California in the last month than my whole time in Seattle. It’s been rather wired to say the least and I do not know quite how to deal with it. How do you deal with strangers coming up to you and hitting on you? I’m flattered a little, but then they do not know my mind or my soul… it just makes me wonder about myself- as well as the regional differences….something to ponder.

No matter what, I do say that someday I do hope to find someone that I can share my mind, soul, and body with… but I know I have a lot to learning and growing to do before that.