I am a firm believer that love conquers all- for love died for us- and still triumphed. Therefore, we need to work toward love and not fear- for we have nothing to fear. But maybe I am radical in that thinking…
I have had many conversations with people- both in the states and here in the Balkans- and I have realized how much we let fear rule our lives, including myself at times…
For myself, (getting a little personal here) I have seen that I start to fear when I feel I could be a burden… I like my control, like feeling like I can do it all alone. Although I know secretly I can’t. This was something I had to struggle with when pondering and praying about living in a foriegn country- Crystal, can you really handle not knowing the language, all the nuiances of how to treat people with the upmost respect, and face different cultural differences, some completely opposite of what I’m used to??? (i.e.- saying “thanks” here is rarely used- and in general everyday it can be seen as fake- copmletely different than at home, where i’m used to saying thanks at every store/encounter- you know things like that). Can I handle letting people do things for me… or another way of putting it- Can I handle letting people love me? Its sounds like a stupid question- but if the answer is yes, the next question is “Will people love me or reject me?”, and that is something out of my hands- something I do not have to think about if we think we have control and deny people the chance to love us.
Anyway, this post really isn’t about me- I wanted to share some insights of the fear that drives people here in the Balkans. All of you who have listened to me babble on about the Balkans know that ethnicity/religion/politics are all rolled into one identity for each “group”- which causes many problems… because people don’t fit the mold- or people change the mold to fit what they like- for example “Bosniaks” is a relativley new term in the region- not to define people in the geograpghical region of Bosnian, but a new term instead of “Muslims” as a ethnic group… so some people even today consider themselves Bosnian (geographically/politically) but not Bosniak (not Muslim-religion)- some people would consider these same Bosnians not Bosnian (ethinically) but rather Muslims who are ethinically Serb or Croat… wow, that was only talking about the Bosnian/Bosniak/Muslim group in the region- and I’m confised myself!- Really all this depends on who’s history you are looking at…
Anyway, the problem with these stereotypes/generalizations in the USA and here is that people don’t fit these molds- and of our prejudices- and fear sets in. People here say (even PhD’s teaching in universities have taught this to students) you can’t be a Serb unless you’re Orthodox- and you give up your right to be a Serb if you are Catholic, Muslim, Protestant, and the list goes on…
People I know are upset about that here about these stereotypes- but they also believe in this system too. Coming back from camp the week, I had some good conversations on gender differences, immigration of many countries, racial profiling, and many other complex subject- which I can talk a lot about- but the responses always went back to a fearful reaction. Anyway, there were cars coming into Croatia that were being checked, German cars with German plates- but the boys I were with said they could tell by the face the people were of Macedonian or Albanian heritiage. They were being singled out for checking because of their heritage/the way they looked- much like we do in the US (if you want to argue with me on this one, I can share what I witnessed myself while flying standby).
They said that they agree with singling these people out and furthermore wanted to halt all immigration and even tighten things for anyone from the East going West- and openly said that it is because of fear. I understand their reasons- fear of smuggling, fear of another ethnic/religious group taking over Europe or their country (remember that Serbia’s view of history is one of the Turks/Muslims taking over their country rule), afraid that these others are terrorists, etc. It was a long conversation- one in which I sadly found that I would not convince them otherwise to judge them guilty by the way they looked. I live in the real world- I understood their explanations- but even more I see that they are based on fear- and fear will never win- it has already lost to love.
We forget that love already won… aren’t we prejudiced because we want to look out for ourselves, “#1″? But in looking out for ourselves, don’t we loose? The fear they have now about the many other ethnic/religious/political groups has only brought an ever going cycle of violence and fear- in the US, fear of another has led to the black/l.american/white divide, small pox blankets, japanese detention camps, etc.
Furthermore, love comes from the heart… hate comes from the heart… and, while we say that we can wear our hearts on our sleeves, I have to say that we can’t see what is on the heart from the outside- the McVey’s, Kaczynski’s, and Bundys of the world show that stature, knowledge, or good looks (which from the outside look good) so not show the reall inner heart condition.
Where would I be without my mentors? I have so many- Doug & Rocio Woods, Allen Belton, to name a few… but looking back on things my fearful society would tell these people not to mentor me or to tell me to be with them (a young caucasian gal to be mentored by people of different genders and races/ethnicities… ) But where would I be without them- I love them, and they have given me more love than I have ever deserved.
Thanks for listening to me rant and rave.