So today, and the past few days, has been hectic… you know running-around-with-your-head-cut-off type of days…with little restful sleep. The real “free time” I’ve had with myself has been sitting on the bus…. or standing packed in sardnines, I should say… I should give some cultural insights and pictures of the buses here sometime…
It’s not that I do not want to be rested and balanced- it somehow seems that I follow the culture and say, but I NEED to do this I HAVE to… and I know some of you do this too (hint hint to some of you)
Anyway, during those times on the bus, I’ve been arguing with myself- with the voices in my head going back and forth between- “If only I can give just a little bit more,” and “Whoa, I’m not God! I can’t do it!” It’s a struggle I’ve had with myself for a long time- finding the line between doing the best I can and giving my all and letting go and doing only what I can do in a healthy manner. And by healthy, I mean physical, spiritual, and mental health.
This- “stop, and remember who God is” is a recurrent theme in my life… and of course today, once again, I had to stop and remember the true God. Today it also helped as I stumbled accross this article on sleep…Sleeping- From Christianity Today”
I know that I want to keep my head on my head- I do not want to be a sleepless zombie… and so today I started to say no… not just for me, but because it reminds me that I do not have to do it all- that if I am doing my share of serving people- and not more of less than my share- than it will not drain me but fulfill me.